Monday, January 25, 2010

i can't get off the toilet...

Why do i do this to myself? Monday is always a killer leg workout in Danielle's "Women on Weights" class. But apres a Saturday night of binge drinking (a 1 am trip through the Mcdonald's drive thru for fries should give you an indication of how i was feeling...) my first thought Sunday morning (as i choke down 3 advils) is to jump on the wagon and lay off the juice for a while. I just can't hang like i used to. My next thought (much later on that day) was that I needed to sweat out and detox...starting Monday.
So the torture begins Monday morning at 9 am at my home away from home: the YMCA. Danielle leads us through 60 minutes of lunges, squats, "mountain climbers" (WTF!!!), leg presses and more exercises to where you think you are doing something with your arms, but in fact you are doing more lunges, squats and leg stuff. I know I am not painting a pretty picture here, but if you live in DeWitt you should definitely consider taking a class with Danielle. She may be super cute (and 5 months preggers to boot) but she can whip you into shape! At any rate, I decide to continue the torture by hopping on the treadmill for a little "speed workout". 2 1/2 miles into it I look at the clock. Oh darn. I have to get off and get the kids out of tot watch. Rats. As I get off the treadmill, I notice that my legs feel a bit like the muscles have been replaced with jello. Think "Bob" from Monsters v. Aliens.
A few hours later, I find myself lacing up ice skates. Really??? I promised Tyler on his day off from school that I'd take him ice skating in the afternoon. So I thought my legs felt wobbly in my Saucany's??? Try shoving shaky feet and crampy calves into a boot with a blade on the bottom. And when is the last time I went ice skating? Probably in 1980 at Rockefeller Plaza when I told my grandfather "don't get my losed". It's not enough that I have to get myself out on the ice, and not totally bite it, but i have to try to help my 6 year old balance out there too. Seriously??? Despite it all, we had a great time (i didn't argue when after an hour Tyler wanted to go to lunch).
We celebrated our Ice Capades debut with a gourmet lunch at Subway (Eat Fresh! as Sam calls it). I thought I was feeling pretty good until I had to use the facilities (this could be TMI so feel free to stop reading). I dragged Tyler in with me and hovered over the toilet, avoiding any contact with the public germy toilet bowl seat. Well, hovering requires using leg muscles. Of which mine were made of mush. Immediately I collapse on top of the toilet bowl seat. Repulsed, I try to stand up. I can't. My ever-so-observant 6 year old asks, "Mom, did you just fall into the potty?" My reply, "Um, yeah buddy". Tyler comes a bit closer, "Mom, can you get back up?" My reply, "I don't think so buddy. Can you help Mommy get off the potty?"

Good times had by all ;o)


  1. Oh my gosh that is so funny!! Danielle is the best. I love the toilet story...

  2. sara i knew you'd love my toilet antics. feeling much less sore this morning. i am thankful Tracy did not do any legs at Yoga this am.

  3. I am cracking up Kim . . .thanks for making my day with the toilet story!

  4. OMG, Kim! This is too funny!! And if the scene of the crime was the DeWitt Subway, all the more disgusting your experience! (Am unfortunately all too familiar with repulsivenss of that potty since Finn used to insist on visiting it every single time we grabbed a quick lunch there during his potty training days and he'd plop right down on that nasty, grimy, repulsive seat!). Where is the DRAFT HOUSE bathroom when you need it??!!