Friday, January 29, 2010

The Last Supper

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is Detox time. You heard me right. This body is so full of toxins from the past couple of months it's not even funny. It's like the holiday season didn't stop on December 25th. From cookie binging to red wine/margarita/beer benders to late night snacking sprees. A little bout of the stomach flu cleaned me out temporarily, but I need to make some changes for the long haul.

Waiting to check out at Meijer this week, I perused the magazines with Jen Aniston, Octo Mom (seriously? she is nasty) and Tiger on the covers. A marketers dream, I saw a cover that caught my eye. A mag called "Whole Living: Body and Soul" (part of Martha Stewarts empire) screamed at me "JUMP-START YOUR BODY! Healthy Detox Recipes that cleanse and satisfy...your 28 day action plan!". I threw it on top of my bottle of Mark West and package of pink sprinkled frosted cookies, ready to be cleansed.

The article reads, "28 days to a healthier you-Get a jump on total mind and body wellness with our four week plan". I check my calendar; nothing going on in February. I can stand to detox and be well for the month.

The first week is about creating a clean slate. Clean. Cleanse. Bring it on! This program is 3 part: Nutrition, Exercise and Mind/Spirit. Well, I figure I have the exercise thing down, training for the 25K and I am not going to worry about that. But it looks like a great way to start to get into working out so if you are interested, check it out.

That leaves nutrition and mind. Days 1-3 are prepare to detox. Focus on whole grains, veggies, fruit, etc. Avoid sugar, dairy (i love cheese) and fried foods. Easy enough. Drink plenty of water (coffee and diet coke have water in them, right?). Then it says "for a full detox food list with items to include and exclude visit the website". UH-OH. Avoid: milk, cheese, peanut butter, alcohol, caffeinated beverages, soft drinks, chocolate, among others. CRAP!

The latter part of the week I get to actually detox for 4 days. YIPPEEE! That includes a smoothie or juice in the morning and evening and a solid meal for lunch. Snack on raw veggies or almonds. Green tea instead of coffee. Water with lemon instead of soda.

The smoothie/juice recipes on the website are a little scary to say the least. Think ingredients like kale, beets, watercress mixed together. Nasty. I found another site with "detox shakes" and "green smoothies" with combos that are still a bit frightening, but at least I know where to find the ingredients in Meijer.

The last thing I need to do next week is journal. Well, that's not a problem. I obviously enjoy hearing what I have to say. I won't bore this blog with the details...I'll just give you the highlights.

So I am embarking on this wellness journey starting Sunday. This gives me exactly 2 days to consume 20 cups of coffee, a case of Coke Zero, the entire package of pink sprinkled frosted cookies, that bottle of Mark West and anything else on the "foods to exclude" list that cross my path. Did I mention I also made a loaf of cheddar beer bread and a 9x13 of those magic layer bars (you know, those ones with the graham bottom, coconut, nuts, choc. chips, butterscotch chips...). Tonight I am making fettuccine alfredo-full fat. Detox begins on Wednesday and if my hands aren't shaking too much from lack of caffeine and alcohol in my system I'll be sure to post how my strawberry, banana, spinach smoothie tastes. mmmmm...can't wait (that is said thick with sarcasm). i may even try the romaine lettuce, celery, apple concoction for you too.

Honestly I am excited to try this out. I look forward to doing a total re-haul of my eating habits and incorporating them into my family's diet as well. Just do me a favor and please pray for my sanity and the safety of my husband and children over the next week.

PS. Anyone interested in joining me? I know, I make it sound so appealing here, but honestly I think it sounds like a safe and effective program for healthy living beyond the 28 day challenge. And the detox part is only 4 days!!

Here is a link to the site:

Here is a link to the other smoothie site I found:


  1. Trust me the green smoothie is awesome! You can't taste the kale and spinach. It's all good!
    You'll do great on your detox.
    Take me with you! :)
    Have a great weekend!

  2. Yikes...I am hungry just thinking about it. I guess I need to go Meijers to start some shopping. :)