The Sign

OK. Now I promise you won't see this invention on an infomercial with Billy Mayes's (RIP) predecessor barking about it's value and screaming "BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE", but I think the running community out there would dig it for sure.  My invention is a sign that you can pin on your Tshirt that says a little something about the run you are doing.  Almost like a race bib, but dry erase fashion so you can change what reads on the sign daily, hourly or by the minute.

Let me give you an example:
Last Friday the Divas and I were running our 3rd to last loonnnnnggg run before the BIG ONE (EEEK).  We were on the "4-mile loop" in DeWitt (that everyone and their brother runs around) and at that point we were at mile 16 or so.  I am sure we were looking a bit whipped.  Maybe just a liiiiittle bit tired.  On the other side of the road a spunky little lady runs by, fresh legs and all. She's just a-bopping along, big old smile on her face.  She probably just left her house a moment ago.  She breezed past us and waved.  I could almost see the pity in her eyes, as if she was thinking, "Oh My.  They must be beginner runners if they look that beat running the 4 mile loop".  Tsk Tsk.
This, my friends, is where the sign comes in.  I'd have that sucker pinned to my chest and it would scream in all caps: "I HAVE JUST RUN 16 MILES!".  And since it would be a dry erase sign, I could quickly erase it once I hit 17 miles.  And 18.

Or how about this one?  You ran 13 miles and then taught a really tough "BootCamp" class all in one day.  You are sore.  You can barely walk down the stairs without wincing.  Sitting on the toilet is a chore.  Not that this has ever happened to me, I can only speculate...
Anyway, you need to push out a 5 mile run and you run it realllllly slow.  I mean, turtles are passing you by.  Now, couldn't that sign come in handy?
"RAN 13 AND TAUGHT HARD BOOTCAMP FRIDAY.  STILL SORE".

Yet some more ideas for "The Sign":
"THIS IS MY RECOVERY RUN"
"I HAD WAY TOO MANY OBERONS LAST NIGHT"
"JUST HAD A BABY. LET'S SEE YOU RUN FAST POST PARTUM"
"RACED A 21 MINUTE 5K YESTERDAY" (not really, but a girl can dream)
"MY WEEKLY MILEAGE IS UP TO 40"
"I JUST DID 10x400s.  SUCKA."

Or it could be a warning system for other runners too:
"THAT HILL BACK THERE IS A BITCH"
"CUJO TYPE DOG 2 HOUSES AWAY"
"CARCASS IN THE DITCH UP AHEAD:  PLUG YOUR NOSE"
"CUTE RUNNER AHEAD.  SUCK IT IN"

Maybe someday we'll have "The Sign".  For now, we'll have to keep them all guessing.