Tuesday, July 19, 2011

my sweaty eyeballs

93 degrees. Heat index of 99 degrees.  And yes, I still went out to run in it. What's worse is that I dragged my class out with me.  But far worse than this evening's steamy run (which was actually quite pleasant for running through an oven), was the aftermath.
Sweat.  Sweat.  Sweat.  Out of every orifice of my body.  Sweat down the cleavage? CHECK.  Sweat behind the knees?  CHECK.  Sweat in the armpits?  Does a bear sh$t in the woods?  Sweat coming out of the eyeballs?  Wouldn't surprise me.
I glance in my rearview mirror before heading home.  My face is an interesting shade of reddish-purple. Mottled would be a great adjective to use here.  I am thinking that the sweat that continues to roll off every crevice of my body even 15 minutes following class is not the greatest for my skin.  Hence, the recent trip to the dermatologist and a handful of Retin-A samples.  C'mon, am I 13 again??
I am also thinking that the same sweat sliding down my butt crack and my legs is not doing the full grain leather seats in my vehicle any favors.  Nope, I think not.  Why do I always forget to bring a towel?  Hmph!
Now, let's discuss my hair.  During the run, it was smartly pulled back into a visor and a ponytail.  Chic. Think Anna Kournikova.  Okay, that's a stretch but I'm going for the tennis reference here. Post-run and post-visor it was like all hell broke loose on top of my head.  There are curls where I never knew I had curls, frizz where I never knew I had frizz, and a general chaos on my noggin.  Frankly, it was scary.
And don't get me started on the smell...

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